Thursday, March 19, 2009

Because I felt like sharing


So here are 25 things... the kid years.

1-I have hated raisins my whole life!

2-When I was little I used to count every step I took. I thought I would do it forever and it was really hard to stop. OCD much?

3-When I was little I always wanted to have a daughter so that I could name her Rebecca.

4-I went to a Pentecostal church when I was a kid. It was scary and funny at the same time. People used to speak in tongues and get slain in the spirit. They ran around the church playing tambourines and singing and dancing. They would have guest speakers who would do things like play rock records backwards so that the teens could hear the words of the devil. Yeah... I don't go to church anymore.

5-My brother and sister used to run away from home a lot when we were kids. The first time they did it we were a little sad but after that we were just excited to all have our own bedrooms. We don't talk anymore and I don't really consider them family... I'm totally okay with it!

6-Adrienne and I used to get all of our stuffed animals and pretend that they were our kids and we had to protect them from a tornado. We would sit in our bedroom floor surrounded by them for hours huddled down waiting for the "storm" to pass. We also used to pretend we were mermaids when we took baths. We would stay in the tub forever. Adrienne was a kick ass mermaid.

7-Jeff always has been and always will be my best friend... must be the whole "we shared a womb" thing.

8-My mom used to sew a lot of our clothes when we were kids. I hated it!!

9-I started smoking in the 8th grade so that the "tough" kids would let me walk home and not beat me up.

10-I failed the 3rd grade because my mom put us in a Christian charter school and they never taught me how to multiply. Oh and I cheated and forged the teachers' names to finish work.

11-My mom used to try to teach me to cook and I always said I didn't need to know how because I was going to marry a rich man and have a cook... and maids and nannies. HA

12-We had an above ground pool in the backyard that my dad tried to breed catfish in. That's a "You Might Be A Redneck If..." joke.

13-7th grade was the worst year of my entire life. Girls are MEAN in 7th grade... for no reason at all. I would never, under any circumstance, go back and do it again.

14-I wrecked two cars at the same time. I was 14 and my mom let me drive down the alley and park the car. I hit my dad's Jeep with my mom's car. Adrienne is the one that got in trouble because she laughed about it.

15-I learned how to drive by stealing my dad's car and driving around in the middle of the night.

16-I hated most seafood when I was a kid but I loved raw oysters. I think I just wanted to impress my dad.

17-My favorite teacher was 4th grade, Mrs Henderson. She used to pop her gum and said that since she got to chew gum we all should be able to. I thought she was awesome.

18-Even though the weather was always stifling hot we couldn't wear shorts to school. Dumb stupid dumb!

19-I thought Guess jeans and Tretorns were the most amazing things in the world when I was 11.

20-I didn't get Guess jeans or Tretorns until I was 13.

21-We had about five million animals growing up... dogs, cats, duck, squirrel, ferret, guinea pig, fish, birds. They all seemed to die under questionable circumstances.

22-I always wanted my name to be Tiffany.

23-I used to pretend I was on my own cooking show when I cooked frozen hamburger patties... only when I cooked frozen hamburger patties.

24-We said Ma'am and Sir to every grown up... it's just what you do in the south if you don't want to get backhanded.

25-I was scared to death of my grandmother when I was little. She was a little on the crazy side. She chewed plug tobacco and had Welch's grape juice "spitters" all over her house. She also made us watch her kill chickens that she later cooked for us for dinner. Needless to say... we weren't close.

5 comments:

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Hey, isn't that the same teacher that didn't shave her legs or armpits and told you it was sexy?

Anonymous said...

At least you got a sister-in-law named Rebecca, right? :)

Unknown said...

Jeff looks really excited to show off his bowl cut, red sweater, and hang out with his sisters.

Anonymous said...

That was very informative! Thank you!

Jeffy said...

How did you remember all that stuff? Maya and Jada pretend their dolls are their kids and they have to protect them from various pretend dangers throughout the house. One day I heard them playing on the stairs with their dolls, they were climbing down the mountain and then I heard Jada fake crying and it sounded kinda real but then I heard her say "Oh no, my mommy's dead, she fell down the mountain" It was kinda funny because she was the mommy and the doll was crying. Anyway. by the way, fuck you Nick - that red sweater was very comfortable and it made me happy :)