So I had trouble sleeping last night but not because of insomnia...that's better now. I couldn't sleep because I had to take Georgie to the Vet this morning to get "fixed" and I was so nervous for her. I thought for sure she was going to cry like a baby when I dropped her off.
All that anxiety was for nothing...she didn't have time to worry about me, she had stuff to smell.
So I'm relieved but I think she's not gonna be happy when I pick her up. I hope she doesn't hate me.
Oh and by the way...at 5 1/2 months she weighed in at 80lbs.
AWESOME!
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Monday, January 18, 2010
Mental Health
So my mental health is not quite what it used to be. That's not necessarily a bad thing...just a different thing. All the doctors visits, all the trips to the ER, and all the tests they ran came to nothing. What did happen was I went to see a therapist and within 10 minutes I knew exactly why I had been so incredibly sick.
It was a relief but also a little scary.
I have been diagnosed with PTSD from trauma I suffered at the hands of my older half-brother...the one that died at EXACTLY the same time I got sick.
I never knew that memories I didn't even have in the front of my mind could make me physically ill. Of course I heard about stuff like that but never really understood it or even believed it could be true. I'm a believer now!
So my mental health is a little rocky for now. It's hard talking about things that you have tried to forget for 23 years. I never wanted to talk about it, think about it, or deal with it. Time's up on ignoring it and that's a good thing. I'm going to come out of this healthier and happier than before.
I just have to go through a little rough patch to get there.
It was a relief but also a little scary.
I have been diagnosed with PTSD from trauma I suffered at the hands of my older half-brother...the one that died at EXACTLY the same time I got sick.
I never knew that memories I didn't even have in the front of my mind could make me physically ill. Of course I heard about stuff like that but never really understood it or even believed it could be true. I'm a believer now!
So my mental health is a little rocky for now. It's hard talking about things that you have tried to forget for 23 years. I never wanted to talk about it, think about it, or deal with it. Time's up on ignoring it and that's a good thing. I'm going to come out of this healthier and happier than before.
I just have to go through a little rough patch to get there.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Sleeeeeep!!
So for the past two nights I have slept. TEN HOURS each night!!!
Because I thought you'd like to know :)
Because I thought you'd like to know :)
Friday, January 15, 2010
Still with the not sleeping
So I am beyond exhausted now. I got a prescription to help me sleep and it worked like a dream (stupid pun) on Wednesday night but last night was lame.
The med didn't seem to help at all and I got about 3 hours of sleep.
Seriously I don't get it. Sleeping is one of my most favorite things EVER.
I'm crossing my fingers that tonight will be better.
The med didn't seem to help at all and I got about 3 hours of sleep.
Seriously I don't get it. Sleeping is one of my most favorite things EVER.
I'm crossing my fingers that tonight will be better.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Insomnia
So I've heard people complain about insomnia before and never thought anything of it. I have never had a problem sleeping. I love sleep. Sleep and I have always been very good friends.
Not anymore. I miss it. A lot.
Not anymore. I miss it. A lot.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Going Goethermal
So I would blog more often but my fingertips are ice and it's hard to type with ice fingers.
Our 25 year old furnace is acting like a toddler. It works when it feels like it and then it decides to have a temper tantrum and stop working...completely. It blows cold air and the temperature drops to about 52 degrees in here. That's cold people. I know it feels warm in the Spring after a string of below zero months but in the dead of winter, when it's averaging -10 outside, it's COLD!
So we will be saying goodbye to our 25 year old furnace and saying hello to a geothermal heat pump. They are hella expensive and we will probably have to take out a loan to do it but it's kinda badass and I'm kinda excited.
My fingers and toes are very excited at the prospect of not having to wear gloves and five pairs of socks IN THE HOUSE!
Our 25 year old furnace is acting like a toddler. It works when it feels like it and then it decides to have a temper tantrum and stop working...completely. It blows cold air and the temperature drops to about 52 degrees in here. That's cold people. I know it feels warm in the Spring after a string of below zero months but in the dead of winter, when it's averaging -10 outside, it's COLD!
So we will be saying goodbye to our 25 year old furnace and saying hello to a geothermal heat pump. They are hella expensive and we will probably have to take out a loan to do it but it's kinda badass and I'm kinda excited.
My fingers and toes are very excited at the prospect of not having to wear gloves and five pairs of socks IN THE HOUSE!
Saturday, January 2, 2010
1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?
Became the parent of a high school freshman.
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I never make resolutions. I don't really see the point of putting all that pressure on myself.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No but they will in 2010!
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Luckily, No.
5. What countries did you visit?
Countries?!? I barely left the city where I live.
6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
More peace. More good health.
7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
December 4. My tenth anniversary.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Honestly I can't think of a thing. That's pretty sad.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Can't think of a thing for this one either but that's actually a good thing.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
For three months I was in a fog of mystery illness.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Probably our new bed.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Nick. He kept this house together during the three foggy months.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Nothing comes to mind. That's a good thing too.
14. Where did most of your money go?
The mortgage, and Target. Damn Target.
15. What did you get really excited about?
My tenth anniversary. It was in the foggy period but it was still a good day.
16. What song will always remind you of 2009?
Poker Face. Because I only heard it about 550,000 times in '09.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
– happier or sadder? Probably neither.
– thinner or fatter? Thinner because of the foggy period. The only good thing to come out of it.
– richer or poorer? Since I'm not working I guess we're poorer but I don't feel a difference.
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Worked out.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Sitting around doing nothing.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
With Nick, Gage, and Layla. It was perfect.
21. Did you fall in love in 2009?
I absolutely fell more in love with my husband.
22. What was your favorite TV program?
I think Survivor. I always think I'm not gonna watch it but it sucks me in every time.
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
No.
24. What was the best book you read?
Too many to pick one. The Twilight series was good. I read Harry Potter again...because I'm awesome.
25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
As much as I can't stand Beyonce I love her music.
26. What did you want and get?
I usually get what I want so this year was no different. I told you my husband rocks.
27. What did you want and not get?
Nada.
28. What was your favorite film of this year?
NOT A Christmas Carol. Hated that movie!
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I think I did nothing. I honestly can't remember. I turned 34.
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Not being sicker than shit.
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
Wouldn't be shocked if someone called What Not To Wear on me. Yoga pants should really only be worn when you're doing yoga. Not EVERY day with a sweatshirt.
32. What kept you sane?
Nick and Zoloft.
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
No one really.
34. What political issue stirred you the most?
I don't get too stirred by political issues. Nick gets stirred enough for the both of us.
35. Who did you miss?
My mom...hands down.
36. Who was the best new person you met?
I don't think I met anyone new. Hard to meet new people when you never leave your city and are in a fog. There's always next year!
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.
I'm not as strong as I thought I was and that's okay. Now I just have to work to get there.
38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
"It'll all get better in time" by Leona Lewis
Became the parent of a high school freshman.
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I never make resolutions. I don't really see the point of putting all that pressure on myself.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No but they will in 2010!
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Luckily, No.
5. What countries did you visit?
Countries?!? I barely left the city where I live.
6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
More peace. More good health.
7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
December 4. My tenth anniversary.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Honestly I can't think of a thing. That's pretty sad.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Can't think of a thing for this one either but that's actually a good thing.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
For three months I was in a fog of mystery illness.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Probably our new bed.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Nick. He kept this house together during the three foggy months.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Nothing comes to mind. That's a good thing too.
14. Where did most of your money go?
The mortgage, and Target. Damn Target.
15. What did you get really excited about?
My tenth anniversary. It was in the foggy period but it was still a good day.
16. What song will always remind you of 2009?
Poker Face. Because I only heard it about 550,000 times in '09.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
– happier or sadder? Probably neither.
– thinner or fatter? Thinner because of the foggy period. The only good thing to come out of it.
– richer or poorer? Since I'm not working I guess we're poorer but I don't feel a difference.
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Worked out.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Sitting around doing nothing.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
With Nick, Gage, and Layla. It was perfect.
21. Did you fall in love in 2009?
I absolutely fell more in love with my husband.
22. What was your favorite TV program?
I think Survivor. I always think I'm not gonna watch it but it sucks me in every time.
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
No.
24. What was the best book you read?
Too many to pick one. The Twilight series was good. I read Harry Potter again...because I'm awesome.
25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
As much as I can't stand Beyonce I love her music.
26. What did you want and get?
I usually get what I want so this year was no different. I told you my husband rocks.
27. What did you want and not get?
Nada.
28. What was your favorite film of this year?
NOT A Christmas Carol. Hated that movie!
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I think I did nothing. I honestly can't remember. I turned 34.
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Not being sicker than shit.
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
Wouldn't be shocked if someone called What Not To Wear on me. Yoga pants should really only be worn when you're doing yoga. Not EVERY day with a sweatshirt.
32. What kept you sane?
Nick and Zoloft.
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
No one really.
34. What political issue stirred you the most?
I don't get too stirred by political issues. Nick gets stirred enough for the both of us.
35. Who did you miss?
My mom...hands down.
36. Who was the best new person you met?
I don't think I met anyone new. Hard to meet new people when you never leave your city and are in a fog. There's always next year!
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.
I'm not as strong as I thought I was and that's okay. Now I just have to work to get there.
38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
"It'll all get better in time" by Leona Lewis
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