Ready for a new year

So tonight will be spent with Nick and Layla eating junk food, playing games, and watching the ball drop (yeah right...I won't make it past 9, 10 if I'm lucky). Gage will be with his friends because they are much more important than his family right now...as it should be.

Tomorrow we get to start a brand new year and forget the last few months of chaos. Everyone is healthy and happy and here's hoping that at least 99% of 2010 will stay just that way.

Happy New Year!

Merry Christmas!

So this is what 6:30 Christmas morning looks like.

White Christmas!!

Georgie

So this dog makes me laugh even when I feel like crying.

Mom to the rescue

So I am in the weeds here. I'm miserable, sick, and tired. My mom's gonna fix it and that makes it a little easier to get through the day.

She's sacrificing her 35th Anniversary to come here and be with me which means my dad is sacrificing too and I feel not so great about that but there's no talking her out of it now because she knows I'm a mess.

Maybe her visit will be just what I need to start feeling like myself again.

The Best Ten Years Of My Life

So ten years ago today I married the love of my life. People said, before we got married, that it was going to be hard. They said marriage is a lot of work and sometimes you'll want to give up on it.

To those people I say "Suck It Fools! My husband is the shit and I am happy every day with him."

It's not work being married to this man. I love every second of it. Well, maybe when his teeth scrape his fork when he's eating, that kinda sucks. But that's it folks. The only thing I can think to complain about.

I'm a lucky, lucky lady.

Here's to many, many more years with my fork/teeth scraping hubby!!

Hair

So Layla has been growing her hair for a couple of years now. I love her long hair and was excited for school pictures this year.

Fast forward to the day she brought home her school pictures. Cute, but her hair was so long it didn't fit in the photo.

That's too damn long. That's crazy Duggar long and that's just not good.

Tonight she no longer has Duggar hair. We cut eight inches so she could donate but still keep her hair semi-long.

Isn't it nice how her hair fits in the frame?



And just in case you thought I was exaggerating (I tend to do that sometimes) here is her school photo.

Blue Thanksgiving?

So there are times, even as a grown up, that you just need your mom. I have been having mom withdrawals for the last couple of months. Being as sick as I have been has been hard and it's made me kinda blue. I wouldn't say I'm in a full blown depression but I am definitely in a funk. I just feel sad and almost worried that whatever mystery virus I had will decide to come back and I just don't think I can handle that. But if my mom was right here...

Then, when I start feeling sorry for myself I stop and think about my life. My life is pretty amazing. I have a beautiful, healthy, wonderful family. I have the most attentive and caring husband in the universe. I have amazing friends that feel like family. I love my life and I know I am so lucky.

But still, I don't know what it is, I get sad.

This weather certainly isn't helping my mindset. I mean, really...does it have to get dark at 4:00? Really? I think we need some snow or something to brighten things up a little. Something.

So this Thanksgiving, I'm very thankful that the horrible virus has left my body. I'm thankful that my kids are beautiful and healthy and well adjusted. I am thankful that my husband is the man he is and that I was lucky enough to snag him. I am thankful for our warm and comfortable home. I am just thankful to get to live the life I live.

When every day feels like a month

So the month of October and November are pretty much a blur of clinic and ER visits. Thank God for a little thing called an insurance deductible, otherwise we'd be up shit creek for sure.

I have now received fluids a total of six times over two weeks and have had countless blood draws, I now have scar tissue covering my ONE good vein. Not gonna complain about that though because the fluids kept me sane. I literally started losing my mind from lack of food and water. I guess it wasn't literal since people that lose their minds don't say to their husbands "I'M LOSING MY SHIT HERE AND YOU HAVE TO HELP ME!" I'm assuming they aren't lucid enough to articulate that, but I was close.

I had blood tests, urine tests, stool tests, ultrasound, CT scan, HIDA scan...

Doctor is sticking to his guns and calling it an incredibly long virus. And how could he call it anything else when every one of those tests were normal? Right? Right.

I have now seen every organ in my body and seen that they're all good. I have been tested for everything from liver disease to food poisoning. Everything is good. Am I relieved? Well, I hate to admit that I was a little disappointed when I heard the gallbladder scan results were normal. I was convinced that it was jacked and they could just remove it and...presto! everything would be back to normal. Not the case but I'm feeling almost back to normal without having an organ removed so I'd say that's a bonus.

So the situation now is this...

I'm down about 20 lbs (WORST FREAKING DIET EVER), I am slowly building my energy back up, and have started eating real food again, slowly.

Gage is laid up on the couch right now after having his surgery yesterday morning. He is a lot more sore than he expected to be and is pretty bummed about it but ibuprofen and percocet are keeping his pain under control. We are gonna lay on the couch and watch old episodes of The A Team on Netflix.

Sounds like a perfect weekend after the two months I just had.

Dud post

So after the suspense of the big "story" I just don't feel like telling it right now. What I feel like saying is this...

Being sick can really mess with your head. I am on day 7 of nearly all fluids. I just can't keep food down. That can make you a freaking wreck. I cry at the drop of a hat. I feel sorry for myself, then I feel okay and think I was just overreacting, then I feel completely hopeless again.

I feel like a horrible mother because I don't have the energy to do anything but lay down. I'm positive Gage doesn't even notice (and that's a good thing) and really Layla is probably not thinking too much of it either but in my head I'm just being a shit parent.

My official diagnosis is stomach virus and it could be over any day now and that would be wonderful but I think I'll keep my appt. with the GI specialist just in case.

I'm going to go drink some water now...maybe I'll try some Gatorade, ya know, switch it up a little.

Gotta keep waiting

So I'll tell the story eventually. Right now I'm still recovering from my mystery illness. Three trips to the doctor and two trips to the E.R. and I'm feeling a little better tonight. I got loaded up with fluids in the E.R. today so I'm gonna keep drinking, drinking, drinking so I can keep this high.

Zofran is keeping me from puking and keeping everything in so fingers crossed I can go an entire day without puking...Wednesday I'm looking at YOU!

Stay tuned

So that's all I've got for now. But really...stay tuned.

I've got a story to tell.

Layla's birthday

So I never got a chance to post about Layla's party because the day after her birthday all hell broke loose. She got sick at school and I had to go get her. She immediately went to the couch and stayed there for the next five days. Fever, sore throat, cough and headache.

Diagnosis: Flu like virus

She finally went back to school today. *deep sigh of relief*

So here are some photos from her party at Pinz. (I didn't get any photos of the laser tag...I was too busy kicking butt and taking names. Who rules at laser tag? I DO!)

Halloween 2009

So it's Halloween night, Nick and Layla went trick-or-treating and Gage and I went to see a movie. This was not Gage's first choice...AT ALL! You see, the same kid I've been raving about for the last couple of months has let his grades drop to an unacceptable level therefore he's the big "G"...grounded.

Now let me tell you this, I remember when my parents grounded me and, of course, I only thought of how that affected me. Like, they hate me, they don't care if they ruin my social life, they like it when I suffer. Little did I know that it's probably harder for the parents than the kids. I HATE it when Gage is grounded for a multitude of reasons. I don't want him to miss all the parties. I don't want him to sulk around the house all day. I don't want to hear how shitty I am as a mother because I just don't care about him. The guilt trips work on me damnit. I am a sucker and I always give in. He knows that if just asks 500 more times I will finally yell "FINE!" and he'll get his way.

Not this time. Guess who stood her ground? Guess who never raised her voice? Guess who had a thoughtful discussion? Oh yeah baby...that's me! He tried to ask a few times if I would give in because "it is a special occasion you know" and "this is the last year that I'll EVER be able to go trick-or-treating you know" but I calmly said no every time he asked and guess what? He stopped asking.

So here we are. He's spending Halloween night with his mother (oh torture of tortures) and I think he'll survive.

I think we both will.

And Layla, who has had a raging fever all week, finally registered at good ol' 98.6. It's about freaking time! She was a witch but her hat kept falling off so she looked more like a zombie and rolled with that instead.

I think she's a fantastic zombie!

Is this week over yet?

So Layla is sick. When she is sick I kind of lose my shit. I can't seem to leave her side because...well, who knows what could happen right? I know. I am the queen of overreacting...you don't need to tell me.

But really. One minute her fever is a whopping 103 and what seems like forever later, it's down to 100 and in the blink of an eye it's back up to 102. She's so hot that the white's of her eyes aren't white, they're red. The bags under her eyes are red. Her hands and feet are red. She's just such a skinny little lady anyway that she looks so tiny and frail when she's sick and I feel like if I'm right beside her she'll be okay.

Last night she told me she was ready to go to bed so to bed she went. About an hour later I heard her talking and went to her room. She was sitting up, crying, saying her stomach hurt. As soon as she realized I was there she laid right back down and went to sleep. I'm pretty sure she was never really awake but it screwed me up for the night. I didn't keep count but, if I had to guess, I would say I went in her room about 583 times to check on her.

She's feeling a little better now. Her temp is 99.3 after Motrin. We will be calling the doctor in the morning seeing as she's had a temp higher than 100 for three days. Maybe they'll have some revelation for us.

And maybe I can get some sleep.

Sweet Birthday Girl

Happy Birthday Sweet Girl!!

So our internet is down until Wednesday. It sucks.

That means you have to wait to see photos of my beautiful NINE year old on her birthday.

Happy Happy Birthday Layla!!!!!

Boo

Untitled

So I've been expecting a piece of news for the last five years or so. It's news that I assumed would roll right off my back and not affect me...at all whatsoever. It's sad news, but I was sure that I just plain wouldn't care.

I got the news today. And I'm surprisingly sad.

My older brother died. Even though he's my brother I haven't considered him a part of my family for many years. He was a horrible person and did horrible and unspeakable things to me when I was just a kid. When he was around I was in a constant state of fear. I was disgusted with myself for something that wasn't, in any way, my fault. He made a big part of my childhood something that I just don't think about. It's not something I struggle with today, I just put it behind me because I know that I didn't do anything wrong...he did. I just don't think about it.

I thought about it today though. And I still feel sad for him. I feel sad that he died and no one found him for a few days. What kind of life is that? I know that if someone couldn't reach me for a few hours they would track me down. I feel bad for him that there was no one that tracked him down.

He was 39 years old and was living with full blown AIDS for as long as I can remember, which is why I've been expecting to hear the news of his death for quite awhile. I haven't seen or spoken to him in 16 years. I had no idea where he lived. No idea what he did every day. No idea who was in his life. I didn't want to know and if he was still alive I still wouldn't want to know. He was not a good person.

But I'm sorry that he's gone. I'm sorry that his life was wasted. I'm sorry that he couldn't figure out how to be a good person because I think he could have if he tried.

20 reasons why my mom is awesome

So here are a few reasons my mom kicks ass.

1. She's kind of a big deal. A blogging mini celebrity one might say.

2.She can "whip up" a sock monkey for her granddaughter in mere hours.

3.She can cook a mean southern meal.

4.She is a fantastic writer.

5.She drives over 10 hours all by herself to see her grandkids. This is big folks...it means she actually pumps her own gas.

6.She takes care of my dad. That's a big job.

7.She is hilarious.

8.She can cheer me up when I'm having a crappy day. With just a phone call.

9.She "chose" my husband for me. She'll tell anyone who'll listen that she handpicked him and she's very proud of it.

10.She is quite the gardener. I think I need a few lessons.

11. She looks fifteen years younger than she is. Too bad I look just like my dad.

12.She has the best laugh EVER!

13.She has beautiful hands.

14.She is one of the most creative people I know.

15.She is quirky. Example: She used to carry her little dog around in a Baby Bjorn. That's not weird...it's quirky.

16.She knows what my favorite and least favorite foods are. Sometimes she mixes me up with Jeff or Adrienne but she knows somebody loves pound cake and somebody hates raisins and that's all that matters.

17.She lights up, and I mean literally lights up, when she sees her grandkids. In person or photos.

18.She has a beautiful smile.

19.She really wanted Gage to be a girl but still spoiled the hell out of him with love. She eventually got buttloads of granddaughters but Gage will always be her heart.

20.She learned how to be a wonderful mother even though the odds were against her. She had a horrible example and turned it into the "what not to do" of mothering. That's not an easy thing to do. She's kind of a bad-ass that way.

Go Bears

So Gage had his last regular season game tonight and it was...interesting. They lost. They lost for many reasons. Referees that were obviously idiots, no home field advantage, playing against a bunch of kids that are bigger than most of their dads.

These kids were batshit crazy! I mean like there was seriously something wrong with them. They were yelling and screaming and grunting and I guess that's one thing but all the fouls that were never called...that's another. They were just a really shitty group of bad sports.

Nick and Gage's grandpa said at one point that if the kids were on our team that we wouldn't be complaining because as cocky as they were, they were making the plays. I wholeheartedly disagree. If Gage ever acted like that on or off the field there is no way I would let him play. I think that the teams, no matter how good or bad they are, should have a respect for each other. Plain and simple. This other team could not have been more disrespectful.

I guess the whole crazy game just made me proud to be the parent of one of our players. This team is awesome.

Table of Doom

So there's a table in this house and it's out to get everyone that comes near it. It's goal is to injure anyone that dares comes close to it.

Oh Jill, that's ridiculous you say. A table can't hurt anyone.

Exhibit A.



Do you see that giant ear sticking out? Well it's not always that big. In this photo it's swollen. Why is it swollen? Because the table attacked it! Layla was playing in a laundry basket by the table, lost her balance, and fell. The corner of the table went THROUGH HER EAR! Straight through to her head. Thank you Table of Doom for the photo op. Layla's first stitches.

Exhibit B



Okay, so I really don't have a photo of the actual injury but this photo is important. Do you see this cutie little baby in his sweet little bouncy chair? Thank God for that bouncy chair. He was sitting in that chair when Layla opened the top of the table (Table of Doom is also a chest). The hinge broke and the lid flipped all the way over to hit Gavin in the head. I say thank God for the bouncy chair because it probably would have cracked his head open if the chair hadn't bounced to take the brunt.

Exhibits C,D,E,F...etc.

There is no photographic evidence of the injuries that nieces, nephews, godchildren and neighbors have received from falling on, stubbing their toes on, cracking their heads on that table.

My final piece of evidence. Just this last weekend Layla was attacked by the damn thing again.



Her BFF slept over and they slept on the couch. I guess Layla woke up in the middle of the night and fell off the couch and OF COURSE hit her eye right on the table. You can't tell so much in the photo but the kid has a black eye.

Here it is. The Table of Doom. I think it's going in our next bonfire.

BFF

So I never had a friend like this growing up...not the way these girls are friends. They act more like sisters. Sisters that don't fight. If they do fight they're making up five minutes later. Their conversations are loud because they get so excited and try to talk over each other and then...then they start laughing and Oh My God when they start laughing you can't help but laugh too. It's incredibly contagious. I love these girls and I hope they really are best friends forever.

Facebook is CRAZY!

So the past couple of months I have "reconnected" with people on Facebook that I haven't seen or heard from in close to 20 years. If you would have asked me how long ago I saw these people I probably would have said 10 years. Then I have to stop and think. That can't be right because Layla is about to turn nine and Nick and I have been married for 10 years. Oh crap. Gage will be 15 on his next birthday and I certainly haven't seen these people since he's been around. Or when I was pregnant with him for that matter. Well...would you look at that. I'm freakin old! Somebody wanna tell me when that happened?

So, while I enjoy Facebook and catching up with these people that used to a part of my life long, LONG ago...I'm not so much enjoying the fact that it is a daily reminder that I am not 17 anymore...or anywhere near 17.

Oh My God I was 17...17 years ago!!!

I hate this post!

My kid rocks

Date Night

So Nick and I decided that we should have a "date" at least once a month from now on.

Last month we had date night planned out but Gage went and got himself a concussion and we thought it would be in bad taste to leave him here alone. (Calm down...we didn't really consider it...for long)

So we're all set to try again this weekend.

Gage is watching Layla. If he gets hurt before then I'm gonna ground him. The End.

New Do

So I'm definitely a short hair kind of girl. Love it!

Digging through the archives.

GO BEARS!

So Layla's got some serious school spirit!
9-26-08


9-25-09


Also...can someone tell me when my baby turned into a little lady because I missed it.

Missing the old guy today

Unfounded fears? Not so much!

So Gage has never played football before. Wanna know why? Because I don't like games that can SERIOUSLY injure my child. I think that's perfectly reasonable and I don't care what anyone else thinks about my fears.

I finally decided to let him play this year because he has been strength and conditioning training for two years and is much stronger than he used to be. That made me feel a little better. Seeing his first scrimmage did not. They hit each other hard, as I have previously mentioned. Hard enough that you can hear it from the sidelines and that sucks.

Tonight after practice Gage called to see if Nick was almost there. It was about 10 minutes before the normal time and I told him he'd be there soon. He sounded weird so I asked what was wrong. He said nothing but still sounded weird. I asked again but he still said nothing.

Fast forward 15 minutes later as he's walking in the door with Nick. I ask what's wrong because Gage looks like crap. Nick tells me he got hit pretty hard and blacked out on the field. Um...WHAT?!? He BLACKED OUT on the field. Oh and he didn't tell his coaches. Because he didn't want to be a problem. Genius.

Now he's out for a week. The doctor's note says "head injury". Yeah, that's a concussion.

So thanks Gage for proving why I had a very good reason for not wanting you to play in the first place. Could you please knock that "proving me right" shit off?

Milestones

So my baby, my former shy to the point of tears baby, is now the student leader for her class. In order for her to be voted in she had to get up in front of her class and give a little speech about why she would be a good leader for them. No biggie? YES BIGGIE!

This is the same girl that, just a few years ago, would cry if a stranger tried to talk to her. The same girl that wouldn't leave my side. The same girl that would only play at her best friend's house but would rather have her come here. The same girl that would still cry on the way to her best friend's house because she thought she might just miss me too much.

This is what she used to look like all the time. Notice you can't see her face...that's because she would always look at the floor. (First day of preschool)



She's not so shy anymore. She's a leader :)

Role Reversal

So if you know me and have spoken to me in the last week you're probably sick of hearing how awesome I think my son is. If that's the case you should stop reading now.

Because he's pretty freaking awesome.

It's like he's a new person...the kind that doesn't fight with his parents and remembers his stuff. All of his stuff. Last year he would forget the most simple things...he'd leave his books at school or get things signed by us and forget to turn them in. This year already he has about 52000 things he has to remember and he's having no trouble at all. It's like his brain tripled in size or something. I like it.

On the other hand...

When Layla got home from school today I saw that her completed homework was still in her folder and asked her why.

She forgot to turn it in. Along with her planner. And she forgot to take her glue sticks out of her bag.

Oh shit!

How is it Monday already?

So the first week of school seemed to last forever and the first weekend lasted all of five seconds. Now we're back to it and I'm exhausted already. Gage is busy...always busy.

His schedule makes me tired just thinking about it. The poor kid has to catch his bus by 7. He gets out of school at 2:15 and has to go to the locker room and change for football practice at 3. We pick him up at 5 on Mon, Tues, Fri. On Wednesday he has a football game at 4 and on Thursday he goes straight from football practice to baseball practice until 8. There's homework every night until 10ish. Sundays are baseball double headers. That leaves his Saturdays to catch up on any homework he was too busy to finish during the week.

Are you tired yet?

6:30am and I are not friends

So years ago I used to watch this kid, Sam. Layla was nine months old at the time, Sam had just turned one. We were broke and really needed money and there was no way I was going to put Layla in daycare so I asked around and Sam's mom was just about to lose her daycare. Seemed like it was meant to be.

It was not meant to be.

I never could really figure out why it sucked so bad. Sam was a sweet baby. He was an only child so he was pretty independent already, not too demanding. So why couldn't I get my shit together and keep watching him?

This past week (first week of school) I figured it out. Watching two babies, even chill babies, when you're dead tired is just plain hard. Almost impossible. If only Sam hadn't come at 6:30 in the morning things might have worked out. I've been getting up at 6:30 this week and I can barely function. I don't know how I ever took care of two babies that early in the morning. I know, I know, other people do it every day. Well bully for them. I like sleep...a lot. Sleep is my friend, 6:30am is not.

Excuse me while I go get more coffee.

Bears win 40-8!

The official first day of school pics

So I made Layla copy Gage's picture because it's funny that's why. Notice it's dark out when Gage leaves at 6:45 to catch the bus by 7:00. Layla hasn't actually left yet because for some stupid reason her school doesn't start until 9:15...so dumb. Anyway, I've only cried for like a minute so far so that's good. Oh and at this very minute Gage is sitting in his AP Macroeconomics class. That makes my stomach hurt.

Holding back the tears

So here are my 9th and 3rd grader. sigh.

All About Nick

So I told Nick that my next post would be about him and the reasons I love him.

I love him because he rocks and all that mushy stuff...obviously. But there are the little things that I love about him too. Like...

I love that he knows the foods that I don't like but still gets me to try them every couple of months in case I change my mind. Hi plain M&M's...where have YOU been all my life.

I love that he can fold the most awkward shape into the perfect square. Give that man a fitted sheet, tent, swimming pool...he'll fold it.

I love that after he burps he loudly announces "That was me!"

I love that he can pack an ungodly amount of shit into a car. If you think it won't fit you're wrong! He'll make it fit.

I love that he's a nerd. He's a hot nerd but still a nerd.

I love that he makes the bed. It's always perfect and nice and tight with no wrinkles...love it a lot!

I love that he lets me pay the bills because he knows it would drive me crazy not to know exactly what is gong on with the check book.

I love that his hobbies are fairly cheap. This does not mean I won't bitch about them when it comes time to lay down the cash but in the grand scheme of things it could be worse.

I love that he lets me control the DVR.

I love that he sits with me at Layla's dance classes. Not many dads are there but if I ask him, he'll go.

I love that he drives whenever we have to go somewhere we've never been. I think he probably loves that too.

I love listening to him laugh when he's watching football, it carries through the entire house and whether I want to or not, I laugh too.

I love that he never questions what I spend at Target. Even though I feel like I have to explain, half the time he's not even listening.

That man is a keeper.

September

So every year at this time I start to get sad. Sad that my kids are getting so old and sad that I can't see them all day every day and sad that they don't need me nearly as much as they used to...except that Gage needs me for my car.

Every year at this time I also get happy. Happy that my kids are getting so old and happy that they won't be in the house all day every day and happy that they don't need me nearly as much as they used to.

My son is starting high school people...and I can think of a million reasons why that fact sucks and a million more why it rules.

While my friends are watching Noggin with their kids I am watching my kid tackle giants and smash baseballs and be generally hilarious. I am shocked at how fast time has gone by but I love where we are.

My daughter is starting third grade...again, I can think of a million reasons etc...

While my friends are carting their kids to preschool and kindergarten my daughter is becoming the "buddy" to kindergartners at school...a role model for them.

It's a good time. I am a lucky lady.

I have to watch my kid do what?!?

So this football thing...a lot harder to watch than I thought. Don't get me wrong, I liked it, just hard to watch. Why, you ask? Well, let me tell you why. Other kids are big. It's been that way for years. There's something in the water in our town or something. Our kids are just generally smaller.

For instance. Andover Huskies...yeah they're husky! There was not one kid on that team that was under 6 feet tall. Not an exaggeration! They were giants next to our boys.

Gage is around 5'8", maybe a little taller in his cleats and weighs about 150lbs. He has been doing strength training for over a year and is incredibly strong. That fact is not at all helpful when I see him tackle a giant. Even though he took them down, and took them down hard, it still made me wince. Did you know you can hear it? Oh, so you watch football and knew that? NOT ME! I had no idea. I don't like it. It sounds hard and painful and I hear doctor bills adding up when I hear it.

So I made it through a scrimmage. Now I have to watch a real game or two on tv and try to figure out what the hell is going on.

I don't like football...never have. But I will be at every game. And I will love it.

Can you say UNCOMFORTABLE?!?

So we went to the big potluck dinner and parent information for football tonight. There was a ton of food, met new families, reconnected with old families, and learned what to expect this year.

Now let me tell you what I didn't expect.

The cheerleaders. Get. CLOSE.

I don't like people all up in my business and holy crap were they in my business. We were in the first row of the bleachers and they were in muh face...screaming. I was paralyzed and Nick just laughed at me. He knows. I think I started sweating and I panicked a little and if it had lasted any longer I would have found a way to escape.

At least I'm ready now.

I'm going to his first scrimmage on Friday and I will not be anywhere near the cheerleaders.

GO BEARS!

Crash...again

So I am feeling better about our decision to let Crash go. While I still miss him like crazy and forget that he's not here sometimes, I know that he wasn't well and it was his time to go.

I will say...

While this is an incredibly thoughtful card and something that I am glad I have, getting it the VERY NEXT day is probably a little too soon. I had finally stopped crying and when I saw this in the mail I lost it...big time. All I could think was that he was already dead when they took the paw print and that bummed me out more than I can say.

I hate that name

So you know how if you really like a certain name but then you meet some assbag with that name and it ruins it for you? That kind of stuff happens to me all the time. Like there's this show that I used to LOVE but someone that I hate loves it too so every time I see it I think of that person and then I just don't even want to watch it anymore.

Sometimes I forget I'm not eight anymore.

Lindsay Lohan...Seriously?!?

So I'm watching the premiere of Project Runway and I'm loving it until the runway show. The special guest judge is Lindsay Freakin' Lohan. Are. You. Kidding. Me?!? Heidi introduces her as an actress/singer/clothing designer with her own line. Really? Those crazy leggings. Is that what she means by clothing designer? Because I beg to differ...those are not clothing. Those are hideous.

Anyway, you know there are always the crazy, out-there freaky people (loves). And the gays/lesbians (loves). The emotional ones who cry at the drop of a hat (annoying). The ones that think they're going home but end up winning the challenge (super annoying). And the ones that make you wish you were a size 00 so you could wear their shit because it is so amazing (LOVES).

I always try to picture my mom going there. That would be so awesome. She'd get all southern on them if they pissed her off and you know they'd piss her off! She'd be singing at the top her her lungs while she was sewing. Maybe one of her original songs like "Jesus Jesus Mother *Bleeping* Christ" (a personal favorite) sang to the tune of a popular children's song. Or another favorite "Shit *Bleep* Damn". Again to the tune of a children's song. Tim Gunn would come in and try to talk her down and when he tells her to "Make It Work" she'd tell him to "Kiss Her Ass". Don't get me wrong. My mom is a lovely woman but I think the stress might bring out the worst (funniest) in her.

I'd watch it.

In case you were wondering what there is to do in Middle Of Nowhere, Missouri

So you can swim...


Or swim...


Maybe ride a four wheeler in a wife beater...


Eat buckets of candy...


Oh and swim some more.


Umm...that's about it and the kids loved every second.

Idiots are all around us

So my mom writes a very popular blog with a lot of public followers and quite a few people that privately read it on a regular basis. She writes about what it's like to run a campground in Missouri. If you have visited her blog you know that her patience is tested multiple times every day. You know this because her blog is where she vents and while it is entertaining for us, she uses it as an outlet for her frustrations. She never mentions anyone by name, only tells us the ridiculous, annoying, and sometimes dangerous things these campers do day in and day out.

The following comment was posted under "Anonymous". It was left under a post about animal cruelty that you can see here. I copied and pasted this comment. I didn't change any spelling, grammar, etc...

"first of all I witnessed the owner of the dog you exclaim to be so mistreated walk and water her dog. Also I saw her being home many of times while her
dog was outside on his leach like many of the dogs that play in their kennels set outside their campers all day. Also I witness other dogs being walked
owners and no "pick up bag" in hand. So as you said, they are newly weds and maybe they do have a few things to learn about life. Is it your place to
openly slander their character? no, it is not. Like you said again, you warned them and they obviously heeded to you and took care of the SItuation like
adults, maybe not by your "northern" kindness. So I ask you- being an owner of a semi-fun and semi-kept up park, do you have nothing more to do than sit
on your pedistool while your slaving husband is fed and watered like a dog? I see him doing all the work and you just begging for some crazed attention.
But by reading your exaggerated blog, i see now that you have a teen-age mind and a cruel heart and I shouldn't be anything more than amused by your
ingenious comments. maybe it is time to realize that your rules are rediculous and not everyone lives like you. Furthermore, I would never chose to live
like you."

I am shocked and amazed that they used "Furthermore" correctly.

This gem of a comment was left under this post. Again, I copied and pasted this comment. I didn't change anything to try to make "Anonymous" look stupid. They did that all on their own.


"Ms.Kathy
You know going around and talking about childern doesnt make u any better then a child.If all you got to do is set your fat butt on the web all day and talk about people then you need to get a life.P.S. You are very jealous because you dont see these kind of check stups and never will in your sad world.I wouldn't want to be around you when lightning hit.Your day is coming women.when someone sees what you say about them and knocks u out cold.Over there child.You need your soul saved.u dont have no heart your heart felled you like your ears did.And maybe drew and your childern are better off with out you.in fact i know they are.your a stupid woman."

I wonder, is "Anonymous" trying to tell us that they are "saved" by suggesting my mom needs her soul saved? Is this how a Christian talks? Interesting, I think Jesus would not like this shit. But what do I know...maybe it has something to do with their "check stups".

Little Dogs Suck

So we're visiting my parents. I love my parents...I hate their dogs. I am not a little dog person and that's what they have, three of them.

Before you read the comment my mom is bound to leave, yes, Oscar (a dachshund) came from me. I bought him as a birthday present for Nick. Shortly after I bought him I found out that I was pregnant. Done and done. Osar was bound for the pound. Yep, that's mean, you don't need to tell me. The smell of that dog made me puke and I was already puking my guts out. So anyway, he went to live with my mom.

She already had Sarge (a Collie) and Louise (a St. Bernard). I guess she didn't want Oscar to be the only little one so she bought him a bitch, literally. She bought Emmy (another dachshund) to breed with Oscar. They had one litter and then Emmy got fixed.

Sarge and Louise are no longer with us, Oscar and Emmy are. So is Wally. He's my sister's dog and god only knows what breed he is. Is ugly a breed?

Oh yeah, the point of this post is this. These dogs bark and yip and their little claws click, click, click on the floor...constantly! Click, yip, bark, click.

Little dogs suck.

I still miss Crash...maybe even more than before.

Saying Goodbye

So I'm having a little trouble letting him go. I keep thinking there's something wrong with me and I should be semi-okay by now but...that's not happening. I vacuumed up all of the dog hair and felt guilty. Shouldn't there be some proof that he was just here the other day? I think so. I don't want to erase him yet. I just want him back. I have changed my mind please...I want a do over. Maybe I'm irrational. Stupid. Silly. I don't care. I loved that dog longer than I have loved my husband. I have loved that dog longer than I have loved my youngest child. Sure, not in the same way but that doesn't mean it wasn't just as important.

I just want him back.

Crash 5/28/97 - 8/4/09

Broken Hearts

So my heart hurts today and I can only imagine what it will feel like tomorrow. Tomorrow we will say goodbye to Crash. Our big, beautiful, sweet, lovable, perfect in every way, dog. We had twelve years with him and he was perfect for every single one of them. We could not have asked for a better dog and there will never be another that compares to him.

Strange Creatures

So there are few things as strange as the mind of a teenager. Last night Gage was out with friends and was supposed to leave to come home at 9. One of his friends slept over so they left together. Gage didn't tell me that while he was on his bike his friend was walking. By 9:30 I started to worry and sent him a text asking where he was. He wasn't even halfway home so I told him to stop where he was and I would come and get him. This is the conversation I had with his friend when I got there.

N "Sorry we were taking so long. I lost my shoe."

Me "What do you mean you lost your shoe? How do you lose a shoe?"

N "I kicked my shoe off and it landed on TCF Bank."

Me "Seriously? What's wrong with you? Why'd you kick your shoe off?"

N "I was kicking at a friend and I missed."

Me "You missed by like 50 feet."

N "Yeah but it's not my fault."

Me "What are you talking about? Of course it's your fault."

N "Nuh uh ... it was an accident so it's not my fault!"

Me "Nice try. You kicked your shoe 50 feet in the air. Definitely your fault."

N "Nuh uh."

This back and forth could have gone on all night because he was totally convinced that it was in no way his fault that he lost his shoe because he didn't try to kick it that hard. He really thought that there was nothing he could have done differently and his mom should just run out and buy him a new pair of shoes because, duh ... it wasn't his fault.

?????

I guess I'm getting old because I'm sure I used to think the same way but for the life of me I can't figure out how it made sense.

What are we supposed to do now?

So it's official. The spring/summer baseball season is over. What are we supposed to do now?

Last night we had dinner and ... couldn't think of a damn thing to do. We went to DQ. This is not going to work ... the whole "can't think of anything to do so let's go get fattening food" thing. We don't have the money or the need for the extra calories.

We got out the Wii fit when we got back. I got chastised by it for not using it in 388 days. Yeah, the novelty wore off last year and it got shoved under the TV ... oops. Also, does the thing really have to groan when you stand on it? Like you've just knocked the wind out of it with your lard ass self. Unnecessary. I'm guessing people that are actually fit didn't get that way from standing on a board and dodging soccer cleats to the face. The groans are motivation though because now my mission is to step on it and have it giggle like it does when Layla gets on it. Damn technology.

Happy Birthday

So it's my mom's birthday.

56 years young ... she doesn't look a day over 40 :)

I heart my mom

So it's my birthday. You can go here and read all about the day Jeff and I were born.

Obnoxious

So I got kicked out of Gage's baseball game tonight. I've never seen a parent get kicked out of a game in real life ... I thought it was an urban legend. Not so much. I guess the umpire felt that he was the only one that got to be an obnoxious asshole (and holy shit he was) because when I yelled at him he kicked me out. Oh well, I walked 50 feet away and the parents yelled updates to me.

Oh ... and the boys told me I was their hero.

I guess I'm supposed to be embarrassed but I'm not. I guess I should control myself but ... well we all know that's not gonna happen.

That guy I married and other awesome family members

So ... don't all really, really good basketball players play in sandals?

Poor Crash is not long for this world. That DOES NOT mean I don't love him and wish he could live forever. It means the poor dog is old and has bad teeth and hips ... oh and that wheezing thing. He's looking his age in this photo :(

I just like this photo because they're not fighting ... yet.

The look a kid makes when he thinks his mom is an idiot (I see this one a lot)

Little Lady ... again

Little Lady