My Awesome Kids

I Miss My Kid

So...that's it.

I just miss him.

And I wish he hadn't decided to live so far away from me.

My heart hurts.

What Did He Decide?

So he's leaving. He has decided to live with his dad. And, honestly, I'm okay with it. Don't get me wrong, it took some time but I have decided that it's not all about me and if he thinks this is what he needs to do than I will support him. I'll miss him but I'll support him.

While the negatives are quite obvious and need no explanation I have discovered there are a few positives.

As Layla says, we'll have more food! We'll have less laundry! We'll have a cleaner downstairs bathroom!

And we get to devote more time and attention to Layla.

But best of all (and this still doesn't outweigh the negatives but it's nice) Nick and I get to spend more time together. Not only that but it will be time spent not arguing about Gage.

Imagine that.

Life Changing

So I remember being sixteen and what it felt like. It was a roller coaster...daily.

I remember hating my parents one second and wanting to still be able to fit in my mom's lap the next.

I remember thinking I had the worst life in the world one second and not wanting to change a thing about it the next.

I remember being heartbroken one second and having a brand new crush the next.

I remember wanting to run away one second and never wanting to leave the next.

This is why you don't make life changing decisions when you are sixteen. But I've gone ahead and let my sixteen year old make one. I said goodbye to him this morning for at least the rest of the summer, which I can deal with, and possibly for good, which I can't.

He has the next couple of weeks to decide if he wants to live with his dad. Three hours north of here. I have said no every time the subject was brought up before because I don't want to live three hours away from my boy but...

Now it's up to the sixteen year old.

Layla in Photos

One Day

So there have been many, many times that I would have liked to write about what it's like to co-parent with someone that doesn't live with you and your child.

And one day I will.

And it will be a very long post...

Epiphany

So I used to think about the first boy I fell in love with constantly when we were dating. Like, oh, just wondering what he was doing. Who he was with. If I would see him soon. If he was thinking warm, fuzzy thoughts about me.

I'm betting he only thought of me if I was standing in front of his face. Or making out with him but maybe not even then.

Where did I come up with this you ask?

I now have a son the same age that I was when I was pining away for my first love.

I get to see the male perspective.

If I knew then what I know now I wouldn't have wasted so much time.

Just sayin'.