Black Friday Door Busters Can Kiss My Ass And Here's Why....

*Warning: This post contains strong language. Because I was pissed when I wrote it, that's why.*

So I always shop on Black Friday but I go the sane route and wait until mid morning to go anywhere. I still get good deals on the stuff that I probably shouldn't be buying anyway.

This year I'm not sure what I was thinking but I decided that if Target was going to open at midnight then surely they would want me to be there. So my dumbass decided to go wait in line.

I was with my sister, her (future) step-daughter, Kyra, and Gage. We got there at 11:30. The line wrapped around Target and the strip mall that is next door. Whatever, no big deal, we'll wait.

So...we wait. Gage abandons me immediately for friends he hasn't seen in a while and we start up a conversation with the woman in front of us. That's no biggie until the lady lights up a cigarette.

Let me stop and say now that I was a smoker for too many years and would smoke where I wanted and when I wanted and if you said anything about it I probably didn't really care.

As a former smoker you'd think the smell wouldn't bother me but in fact I feel like if she doesn't finish soon I might just puke up my vanilla latte on her feet.

And...she's done. Thank God. Except, oh wait. She's a chain smoker. Oh.

We can't be friends anymore. No more witty banter with you lady. I'm talking to this lady behind me who is equally disgusted. I like her.

But wait. What is this? The line is moving. Well, at least she'll have to put her cigarette out. Or she'll smoke ALL THE WAY TO THE DOOR. Whatever, I'm done with her.

And, we're in. So now what do we do. The 150 people that were in front of us in line are already in line to check out and you can't see a single face through all of the 46" T.V.'s in their carts.

We head back to electronics and just as quickly WALK AWAY because every person in this store is clearly mentally challenged, employees and shoppers alike. Does this employee standing in the middle of the aisle really need to scream in people's faces that "THE LINE STARTS OVER THERE AND JUSTIN WILL TAKE THE NEXT PERSON NOW!!!" Does this customer really need to argue with her about how RIDICULOUS THEIR SYSTEM IS? I really don't think so. Plus that lady is a lot bigger than you, guy, and it looks like you're really starting to piss her off so if I were you I'd get in line and wait until Justin is ready for me.

We quickly grabbed our crap and headed for the check out. Except where the hell is the line for the check out? I see a line snaked around a few aisles and start to follow it. I keep walking....and walking....and walking...and, what the hell! It snakes all the way back to ELECTRONICS ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!? This is where we fucking started.

Now what the hell do we do? Well, if you're me (very impatient) and my sister (maybe even more impatient) you put your shit down where you're standing and leave.

That's right. I said it. We left.

Because we're that smart.